Saturday, May 4, 2013

Happy Pills...Or Sex (Also Known As "Having The Talk")

I was so thankful yesterday was Friday.  Last week was super busy in our house, & I was ready for it to just be over so we could have some down time.  After I dropped off the Boy & the Girl at school, I ran Little Boy to the Y so he could hang out with his friends while I went to the Science Fair at the elementary school.  The Boy had already told me that the Science Fair was a place for "people with smart brains--not for little brothers who are annoying."  (I constantly pray that these children will band together, & not throw each other under the bus on a regular basis).

After a fun morning at the Science Fair, I picked up Little Boy & his friend, and we went to lunch before they went to another friends house to play so I could go back to the school & pick up the Boy for an appointment at his doctors office.  Afterwards, we picked up Little Boy, then were off to retrieve the Girl from school.

YAY!!!  The weekend was finally here!!!

Not so fast.....It never goes that smooth.  It's never smooth sailing when the weekend gets here, who was I kidding?

We were barely out the doors of the school when they started showing their true colors.  "I was there first!"  "Get out of my way!"  "That's my spot!"  "Stop touching me!"  "You smell!"  "You are so ugly, nobody loves you!" "You're going to get me in trouble!"  "Why don't you just shut up!" "I hate you!"

There were more, but I think you get the idea.

That was the point where I was about to get into the car.  I mumbled something like, "Mommy needs a happy pill....or sex."  I saw two of my Mommy Friends waiting for their children & smiled hello to them.  The smiles on their faces told me that I was not alone in this business of bickering children.  I got in the car & we were on our way.

We stopped at the gas station before going out for a Science Fair Celebration Dinner.  While we were driving to the restaurant, the girl asked, "where is Daddy?"  "He is working late, why?"  "Well Mom, I don't know if my question should be for him or for you," replied the Girl.  Foolishly, I asked her what her question was.  "What are happy pills and sex?"

Just great!!  Of course they heard me when I thought they were fighting.  Of course my husband was working late & I had to field this one alone.  Just great!!

Okay here's your chance to answer this in terms that they will understand, without making anyone uncomfortable (except for yourself).  C'mon Mom Of The Year, you've got this.....

"Sometimes people's brains get mixed up & kind of foggy, & it's hard to see things clearly.  Sometimes they will get sad over things that don't make most other people sad.  Sometimes they will get grouchy & snap at people for no reason.  Often their doctors will have them take medicine to help them see things more clearly.  There are many different kinds of medicines for this, so we call them happy pills.  You guys were fighting & stressing me out, so I said that I need some happy pills."  Then the Girl asked me, "did your doctor ever have you take some of those happy pills?"  "As a matter of fact, yes I have.  They help me so much."  "Well I'm glad to know that they help, but I don't think they work very well, because you still get angry & yell."  She wasn't getting it, so I explained that I still get in bad moods & that I still get angry, but I don't get sad all the time, & that I can handle my emotions better.  Her response?  "Okay."

Then the Boy piped up.
"What about the sex, Mom?"

"What about it, son?"

"Does it make you happy, just like those pills?"

"You could say that."

"And it sounds like something that's one of those grown up things you talk about, right?"

"Yes sweetie."

"Then don't tell us about it, because grown up things are boring.

(Okay heard the Boy.  Grown up things are boring).