Saturday, June 29, 2013

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes....

"Just stop talking & go to sleep!!"  Those are the words that the Boy hollered yet again last night.  My three children share a bedroom, & when it's lights out, the Boy is ready for dreamland.  The Girl & Little Boy often times have to be reprimanded because they seem to think that 'lights out' means, "woo hoo, let's have a silly party!"  Last night they were at it again.  Or so I thought.  I went into the bedroom to do my lecture, & the Girl was asleep. 

What's up with that?? "Little Boy, you need to stop playing & go to sleep," I said.  "I is not playing Momma, I is talking to the silly man."  (Huh??)  "What do you mean?"  "Momma, I is talking to the man who helps me sleep; he said you was afraid of that raccoon at your Grandma's house when you were little."

Okay...what in the world?!?

The Boy hollered, "well you two keep me up ALL. THE. TIME!!  I just want to sleep!"  I asked him if he could see the man that Little Boy was talking to.  "Yes, now tell them to be quiet!!"

The Girl kept sleeping while all of this was going on.  "Little Boy"  I asked, "where is the man right now?"  "He is sitting on the dresser beside you, Momma."  "Do you know his name?"  "Yes."  "Can you tell me, please."  He told me the "giant man's" name, & I took a deep breath.  From what I gathered, he was having conversations with a friend of mine who passed away.  I didn't know (& am still not sure) what to make of this. 

I asked him about the raccoon at my Grandma's house.  When I was little, my aunt was a teenager & lived at home with my grandparents.  At one time, my aunt had a pet raccoon.  I was scared to death of it, & despised it after it left claw marks in the face of one of my dolls.  I'd forgotten about this until last night.  I asked Little Boy how his "giant" friend knew this.  He said that his friend talks to my Grandma.  Grandma Gladys passed away many years ago.

This morning, as I was looking through some photos on FB, I came across some pictures of my friends from high school.  The Boy came up behind me & said, "there's Little Boy's friend who talks & keeps me awake at night."  Little Boy came running up to look, & started giggling, "there is my friend--see you later giant man!" 

I'm really not certain what this is about, but I guess we'll just go with it.  Perhaps children in their innocence can see things we can't--I just don't know.

Please don't get angry with me or lecture me on religion, spirits, or the devil.  I am sharing an experience that I am still trying to wrap my brain around.  If this really is my friend visiting my children at night, I wish he'd read a bedtime story & lull Little Boy to sleep. 

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Why Wasn't I Adopted?

"Why wasn't I adopted?"  That was the question the Girl asked at dinner tonight.  Never mind that I carried her in my belly for nine months.  Never mind the fear in my heart when she was born with a cleft palate & could only drink from a special bottle that cost $30.00 a pop.  Never mind that she is everything & I could ever want in a daughter.  She wants to go & get adopted.  True story, she told me so.

I'm going to cut her a little bit of slack because the family she wants to get adopted into is a very special family.  We are blessed to have this family in our lives.  They are the perfect example of family.  Again, true story.

At dinner we were talking about how our friends are finally going to be able to adopt their youngest two children soon.  Our friends have 7 children, all of whom are adopted.  Our friends have been foster parents for many years, and in the process have adopted 5 beautiful children.  The youngest two, who are 6 & 4, were suppose to be adopted several years ago, but thanks to the biological father & a screwed up legal system, they've encountered more bumps in the road than you can imagine.  Today, they got the phone call that bio dad's rights have been terminated & he did not contest.  AMEN!!!  My girlfriend has had a kind of crummy week thus far, so this was just the pick me up she needed.

Even with 7 kids, my friend 'M', will do anything for anybody.  She is the first person to ask, "how can I help" when their is a crisis at your home.  If you are under the weather, she will offer to take your kids so you can rest.  If you are running late to pick up your kids after school, she is there to help out.  If you need to vent because things are crappy, 'M' is there.  In my eyes, she is part of the pot of gold of friends that I have made since we moved back to our hometown 5 1/2 years ago.

Let me also tell you this:  another thing that I love about my friend is that she is not one bit pretentious.  She is as real as they come.  I've seen her raise her voice with her children, & I've seen her follow through with discipline.  She interacts with them & takes them places.  She'll be there at the park playing with her children--ALL OF THEM!!  I wish I had her energy.  However, she knows how to let them trip & fall & learn from their mistakes, always letting them know that she loves them. 

We have a small group of us who meet once a month for Girls Night Out, but we've modified it a bit.  Ours is Girls Taco Night, and we meet up around 8:00-9:00pm on a weeknight.  After our husbands are home with the kiddos.  This woman has us in her home.  We all bring a dish & we sit & chat.  Or vent.  Or have a margarita.  Or two.  Her home is welcome to anyone of us at anytime. 

She is a friend.  She is a wife.  She is a Mom.  Her kids came to her differently than my kids came to me, but she is an example that all Mommy's should follow.  And I am so excited that the day is closer than ever for her & her husband to finally able to make the two Littles in their family "legal".

Yep, I'm sure there will be a giant giant celebration coming soon.  Perhaps this is why the Girl wants to be adopted into 'M's' house; every girl loves a party, right?  Or perhaps it's the wonderful family we've become friends with. 

About 4 years ago, I was driving home from the first kids consignment sale that I'd ever been to (guess what Mommy told me about it?), when I heard this wonderful song on the radio.  It was a song from a Dad to his adopted child.  I knew I wanted to include it for you tonight, but for the life of me, couldn't find it.  Of course, I couldn't remember who sang it.  Or even what the name of it was.  HAVE NO FEAR!!!  I found that song, & would like to share it with you & ask that you think of my awesome friend & her wonderful family.
                                             You start with hope
The wait can make you cry
Unanswered prayers
Things turn, you wonder why
The road can take you where it wants
Sometimes you have to just let go to hear life's song
It's meant to be
It was written in the stars
For us to see
A little angel to be ours
We're a family
We'll tell you where you came from
But you were born in our heart
Faith lights your path
Then one day lets you in
Inside the dream
Of something never seen
The beauty of your little smile
Each little sound you make
Takes our breath away
It's meant to be
It was written in the stars
For us to see
A little angel to be ours
We're a family
We'll tell you where you came from
But you were born from our hearts
Mr Ray (Ray Andersen)

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I've Got Your Number....

I've always shut the door to the bathroom when doing my business.  Because I livedwith other people, that's what I was taught.  When I had roommates I shut the door even if they weren't home.  I married my husband, & even then I still shut the door.  It's a privacy thing, right?  It's a respect thing, right?  Everyone does it, right?

Then I had children of my very own......

These cute little creatures have an agenda all of their own.  They are so cute so that we don't toss them to the curb on trash pick up day.  Maybe it's my fault for keeping the door open once they were able to crawl.  I mean, you need to be able to keep one eye on them while you are apply mascara to the other eye.  Not long after that, they thought it was their right to be in that bathroom whenever they darn well pleased.

I tried to lock the door, but then the day came when the Boy & the Girl knocked a television off of a dresser, after knocking the dresser onto the floor.  Mind you, anytime that I ever needed to move that dresser, when rearranging furniture, I had to put my full body weight up against that sucker just to get it to budge.  I didn't lock the bathroom door after that.  If my husband wasn't home, it stayed wide open.  My kiddos have seen me do #1 & #2.  They seen me change a tampon and they've seen me shaving my legs.  Then they started getting a little older, & they started getting it.  Often times, they'd stand outside the door & try to have a conversation with me, all while I was hollering, "wait until I'm done; give a minute to finish up in here; did you hear me?  Is anyone bleeding?"  We were getting a handle on things.

Then Little Boy came along.  He was a clingy baby.  A true Momma's Boy in every sense of the word. Oy vey!!

Forget bathroom privacy.  Little Boy was here to stay.  He would never ever let me out of his sight.  I figured I was doomed.  This child has imitated eyebrow plucking, tampon changing, & has offered to get me a pad (even when I didn't need one).  A few months ago, he started getting better, so I started locking the door. 

Then this morning happened.

The Girl was at Grandma & Grandpa's house for a sleepover & both boys were still sleeping, so after the Husband went to work, I grabbed my coffee & hopped in the shower.  Even though the boys were in bed, I locked the door.  Why do that if they were in bed?  Because I can, that's why.  I hadn't been in there for 2 minutes, when I heard the commotion.  The Boy was yelling something.  Little Boy started screaming louder.  I heard him coming down the hall.  He tried to get in & couldn't.  Now he was going ballistic.  It was not an 'I'm hurt' kind of cry, so I kept on scrubbing.  He had thrown himself on the floor in front of the bathroom door, & was mad as a hornet at his big brother.

After I opened the door, I found out that the Boy had sat down in the chair that Little Boy wanted, so in true 4yo fashion, he lost it.  To try to divert his attention, I tried to get LB in the shower.  I tried to convince him that he would feel so much starting out his day squeaky clean.  He wasn't having it.

So...I walked over him & went about my business, then told the Boy that he needed to hop in for his shower before getting ready for day camp.

This made my little man so mad that he stopped crying & looked at me in disbelief.  The look on his face was like, 'what do you mean??  It's MY turn to shower.'

Once I got dressed & LB was STILL on the floor, I went into action.  I used my Mean Mom voice & told him that he would get dressed now.  I told him that under no circumstances was I going to tolerate naughtiness anymore.  I told him to get dressed NOW!  He did as I said.  While I was making breakfast, he stated that he had to go potty. 

He was MIA for 15 minutes....

When I found him, he was sitting in the bathtub with his clothes on.  The tub was still wet from everyone else's showers.  When I asked him what he was doing, he said, "waiting for my breakfast."  If we hadn't been running late at that moment, I would've snapped a photo.
Here's a photo of Little Boy.  This was taken during a moment of nice behavior.  I suppose we'll keep him. :)

Sunday, June 9, 2013

I Married Mr. Right-Just Ask Him...

It's been raining where we live, so normal summer activities like swimming, riding bikes, & going to the zoo have taken a backseat to indoor games these past two weeks.  My lovely little offspring have been driving me nuts!!  I'm not afraid to admit it.  Truth be told, I don't blame them.  I'm going a bit stir crazy myself.  However, today has been the worst.  It started a few days ago.  I guess I should start from the beginning....

It started with a backyard project that my husband has been carrying on about for quite some time.  He does that, carrying on about projects, yet does nothing about it until one day, he wakes up & is ready to do said project.  AND TEN MORE THINGS!!

Last year we purchased an above ground pool for the children.  The only flat spot in the yard for it was under a huge walnut tree, so we only had sunshine on the pool for a very short time during the day.  At the end of summer, Hubby talked about moving the pool to a different part of the yard & putting it on a cement pad.  This meant that we (& by "we", I mean him) would have to level out part of the very steep backyard, which meant tearing up the entire backyard.  Which translated into dollar signs that we just did not have.

Two weeks ago, Hubby discovered that he was going to have to cut down the beautiful walnut tree, as it appeared to have some kind of disease.  Hubby enlisted the help of several friends to get the job done.  Once the tree was down, he saw that the carpenter ants were destroying the tree, & very rapidly at that.  He decided to lay the cement pad where we had the tree last year, since the tree was now gone.  YAY!!  Now this project wouldn't be so costly.

Right.....Not so costly.  He decided to level out the backyard (or at least make the incline less steep).
But he wasn't done....

He decided that we needed to widen the top part of the driveway, rip up the front walkway to the house, & rip up & redo the steps leading up to the front porch.  And let's not forget the sod he wanted to put down in the backyard.

So the project is about 93% finished and I might add that he did a great job of bartering services with our friend, Mr. M, who is our "cement guy". 

Last night at dinner, Hubby was looking rather green.  No, it was not my dinner of chicken Parmesan, fettuccine Alfredo, & broccoli.  He was running a fever.  Then the vomiting started.  Yes, it's like having another child whenever my husband gets sick.  Yes, I will do my best to make him feel better.  Yes, I love him.  Yes, I wish he'd crawl into a cave & not come out until he feels better.  True story.

Tonight I had to go to work for a staff meeting.  We live 3 blocks from my job.  I was gone just under 1 1/2 hours.  He insisted he'd be fine with the kids; he's their Father for crying out loud, not some first time babysitter.

Note to self:  DO NOT leave children with their Father when he is sick!!!

I came home & the kids (who had been at each others throats all weekend) were running around like like they were on crack, Hubby just HAD to tattle on every. single. thing. that they did that got on his nerves.  All while telling me about how his body was achy, his eyes hurt, his throat hurt from vomiting, & anything else he could complain about. 

1) Send Hubby to bed.
2) Get kids bedtime routine started.
3) Send Hubby back to bed when the noise was too much.
4) Get kids tucked into bed.
5) Get plan of action for tomorrow ready, since Hubby has already called in sick.  You know our usual routine will be out of whack with a sick Parental Unit in the house.
6) Pour a glass of wine & write a blog, so as to be a nice & tolerant wife.

As I was tucking the kids into bed tonight, the Girl summed it up best.  She said, "I'm glad you sent Daddy to bed, because he isn't a very good Mommy."  I'll take that as a compliment, thank you very much.