Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I've Got Your Number....

I've always shut the door to the bathroom when doing my business.  Because I livedwith other people, that's what I was taught.  When I had roommates I shut the door even if they weren't home.  I married my husband, & even then I still shut the door.  It's a privacy thing, right?  It's a respect thing, right?  Everyone does it, right?

Then I had children of my very own......

These cute little creatures have an agenda all of their own.  They are so cute so that we don't toss them to the curb on trash pick up day.  Maybe it's my fault for keeping the door open once they were able to crawl.  I mean, you need to be able to keep one eye on them while you are apply mascara to the other eye.  Not long after that, they thought it was their right to be in that bathroom whenever they darn well pleased.

I tried to lock the door, but then the day came when the Boy & the Girl knocked a television off of a dresser, after knocking the dresser onto the floor.  Mind you, anytime that I ever needed to move that dresser, when rearranging furniture, I had to put my full body weight up against that sucker just to get it to budge.  I didn't lock the bathroom door after that.  If my husband wasn't home, it stayed wide open.  My kiddos have seen me do #1 & #2.  They seen me change a tampon and they've seen me shaving my legs.  Then they started getting a little older, & they started getting it.  Often times, they'd stand outside the door & try to have a conversation with me, all while I was hollering, "wait until I'm done; give a minute to finish up in here; did you hear me?  Is anyone bleeding?"  We were getting a handle on things.

Then Little Boy came along.  He was a clingy baby.  A true Momma's Boy in every sense of the word. Oy vey!!

Forget bathroom privacy.  Little Boy was here to stay.  He would never ever let me out of his sight.  I figured I was doomed.  This child has imitated eyebrow plucking, tampon changing, & has offered to get me a pad (even when I didn't need one).  A few months ago, he started getting better, so I started locking the door. 

Then this morning happened.

The Girl was at Grandma & Grandpa's house for a sleepover & both boys were still sleeping, so after the Husband went to work, I grabbed my coffee & hopped in the shower.  Even though the boys were in bed, I locked the door.  Why do that if they were in bed?  Because I can, that's why.  I hadn't been in there for 2 minutes, when I heard the commotion.  The Boy was yelling something.  Little Boy started screaming louder.  I heard him coming down the hall.  He tried to get in & couldn't.  Now he was going ballistic.  It was not an 'I'm hurt' kind of cry, so I kept on scrubbing.  He had thrown himself on the floor in front of the bathroom door, & was mad as a hornet at his big brother.

After I opened the door, I found out that the Boy had sat down in the chair that Little Boy wanted, so in true 4yo fashion, he lost it.  To try to divert his attention, I tried to get LB in the shower.  I tried to convince him that he would feel so much starting out his day squeaky clean.  He wasn't having it.

So...I walked over him & went about my business, then told the Boy that he needed to hop in for his shower before getting ready for day camp.

This made my little man so mad that he stopped crying & looked at me in disbelief.  The look on his face was like, 'what do you mean??  It's MY turn to shower.'

Once I got dressed & LB was STILL on the floor, I went into action.  I used my Mean Mom voice & told him that he would get dressed now.  I told him that under no circumstances was I going to tolerate naughtiness anymore.  I told him to get dressed NOW!  He did as I said.  While I was making breakfast, he stated that he had to go potty. 

He was MIA for 15 minutes....

When I found him, he was sitting in the bathtub with his clothes on.  The tub was still wet from everyone else's showers.  When I asked him what he was doing, he said, "waiting for my breakfast."  If we hadn't been running late at that moment, I would've snapped a photo.
Here's a photo of Little Boy.  This was taken during a moment of nice behavior.  I suppose we'll keep him. :)

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