Sunday, August 14, 2016

Changes Happen

So it's been over a year since I last posted here. If you follow me, you know that our Face Book page is where the action is at. I never promised to do this blog thing every single day. This is a way for me to keep track of life as we know it around the Sassy Pants Household.

So much has changed in the last year, and tonight has me reflecting on all of what has happened as well as being curious as to what is to come.

Last year I went back to work full time as a Paraprofessional at the school my children attend. I started out as a general education, then accepted a position as a special education para, working in a class with children who need help with behaviors. I was in the primary classroom, while the Boy was in the intermediate classroom. the Girl was in a 4th grade class right next door to me, and Little  Boy was down the hall. We decided to let Mr. Sassy Pants keep his job; who was going to keep food on the table if we allowed him to join us at the school??

At the beginning of the school year, we found out that starting in the 2016-17 school year, our district was going to have middle school be 6-8 grade. I was devastated. the Boy NEEDED another year to transition to middle school!!  How could he function without being in Mr. R's classroom?!?  Mr. R has been our saving grace, even tonight, but more about that later. I came to terms with it (what choice did I have??  I had to accept the fact that middle school will be starting sooner than we had planned, and make the best of it).

the Girl and Little Boy had no trouble adjusting to a new school, and made friends easily. the Girl tried out for Show Choir, and had a blast. Little Boy fell in love with Anna ("she gets me, Momma), and taekwondo remained every one's favorite activity.

So I sit here on a Sunday night feeling a mixture of emotions. The new school year starts on Wednesday, and while I'm excited for the fresh beginnings that come with a new school year, I wonder how it will be for the Boy in particular. You see tonight, the ugly side of autism decided to pay us a visit.

To an outsider it would have appeared to be two brothers fighting over an Xbox. In reality, the Xbox incident was merely the trigger for a child full of anxiety for the changes about to happen in his life; HELLO....MIDDLE SCHOOL!!! He couldn't tell me that this is what is bothering him; couldn't do it until just a little bit ago.

Sometimes when the "ugly" side of autism shows up, he calls me a "fat fucking bitch", an "old fatty fatty fat woman", tells me to go to hell, and many things that he would never ever say when he is not in meltdown mode. Punching walls is new too---I did make him get his sparring gloves out of his taekwondo gear bag because I really didn't feel like going to the ER. Taking all of his brother's clothes out of his dresser, then tipping the dresser over, then proceeding to destroy the bedroom is another new thing. To top things off, my 5'5" 11year old child took off down the street--of course, we have no sidewalks in our neighborhood, and I didn't know how far he would go.

So what do you do??  Stay as calm as you can, stay out of arms reach so as to not get hurt should he feel the need to punch, and wait it out. WAIT. IT. OUT. So very hard to do, but I have a husband who is coming around to understanding that we can't react when these meltdowns occur. WAIT. IT. OUT. Consequences can come later. WAIT. IT. OUT. Make sure he is safe. Oh yeah, an added bonus is when your husband tells your SIL to shut her mouth when she tries to give advice on how to handle the situation: "Sit down, shut up and let Mrs. Sassy Pants show us what we need to do!!" of my main character traits I always wanted in a husband was someone who was going to have my back; someone who would defend me. Mr. Sassy Pants has my back. His first priority is his wife and children.

At one point, I sent a text to Mr. R. I knew that he would get what was going on. He offered to call & talk to the Boy. I know that if I had asked him to come t our house to help, he would have. He is a man who loves working with these children whom others see as "problems".  He never takes credit for his students' successes, even though he is the one who helped them reach the point of be successful. He is our family's hero.

Anyway, meltdowns are exhausting. I can't even imagine how the Boy must feel when he comes down from this type of thing.

Tomorrow, the Boy will pick up the 2 packages of roofing tiles that he threw on the ground (I bet they weigh at least 50# each), he will pick up his Dad's ladders that WERE neatly stacked in the back part of the driveway, he will pick up the bedroom that he destroyed, and he will help with the list of chores that were already slated to be done.

For now, he will sleep it off. Tomorrow we will talk. Tomorrow is a new day to start fresh. Tomorrow is a day to learn from this. Yes, this meltdown was a learning experience. We will laugh and love and we will always be there for each other.


  1. I'll be thinking of you this week. I hope that everything from the bus ride to the teachers, to the school go as well as they possibly can. It must be rough switching schools.

  2. Thank you Alissa; I'm sure there will be an adjustment period.

  3. Hugs to you friend. You are a great mom who totally gets her kiddos. You I know those words are so hard to hear, but it seems you handled everything like a pro. Wishing everyone the best for the new school year. We miss you.