Tuesday, March 18, 2014

If I Cover My Ears, Then I Won't Hear You....

We met her December 9, 2012.  For someone who didn't know us, she knew our family's struggle.  She listened.  She had me try things that I really didn't think would help, yet I did them anyway.  She watched me cry.  She observed my son when he was happy.  She observed him when he was being naughty.  I knew she was a match for us when we met her.

Even when she had to deliver THE news.  The testing results.  The diagnosis.  When she said Asperger's Syndrome on February 1, 2013, I cried.  She handed me tissues & said, "the Boy is still the same Boy you know & love.  The only thing that has changed is the fact that "it" has a name & now he can receive the services he needs to help him succeed."

She invited us to join Social Skills Group.  This Group met every Tuesday evening from 6:00-7:30pm.  The kids went with another psychologist & her interns to do group activities with the group of 10 children.  Parents met in a conference room to discuss how to help our children with the issues that they encounter.  We learned about different resources in our community. 

We were allowed to participate in another session that will be ending in a few weeks.  the Boy has made some friends who I hope he can get to know outside of Social Skills Group.  This time around, the group of parents weren't as talkative as the parents in the last group had been.  I wondered if they were new to this world of Autism Spectrum Disorder; maybe they were scared shitless.  Afraid if they opened their mouths to ask a question, they'd look foolish.  Or that the others of us would judge their parenting skills.  Or maybe they were afraid of crying.  I was that person in the beginning.  I took awhile to process the information.  I took the time to grieve for this new journey I was coming upon.  Slowly, I got louder & my skin got thicker.  Sure, I still get emotional at times, that is never going to change.  I am always going to be loud when advocating not just for the Boy, but for his siblings as well.  Ask me a question about our journey & I will talk your ear off.  Who am I kidding?!?  I am a talker & can talk about anything to just about anyone.  Like another Autism Momma told me (just today), "there are no strangers, just friends we haven't yet met."

Tonight she got us all to talk.  And she made me cry in front of a room of strangers friends I hadn't really met yet.

Some of the other children in this Social Skills Group are patients of hers as well.  She shared with us that she has 2 family members who are terminally ill.  These relatives live far away.  She is leaving her practice in a few weeks to be with her family.  My heart broke for her & her husband.  My heart broke for all of her patients whom she has a relationship with.  My heart broke at the thought of having to share this information with my son.  Heaven only knows how this adjustment will be.  If you know anything about people on the Autism Spectrum, it is that change doesn't usually go over well.  They love their routine.  They love consistency in their lives. 

Dr. L suggested I tell the Boy, then make an appointment to see her for a final session so that he can ask questions, vent, cry, misbehave or whatever else he needs to do. 

On the way home, I told him.  I explained that she loves her patients & none of them did anything to make her go away.  I explained that it is okay to be mad, sad, or whatever he may feel about the situation.  He covered his ears, closed his eyes, & shouted at me to never talk to him again.  No biggie, he is going to need time to process this, as am I. 

Things will be fine.  He will develop a relationship with his new psychologist.  We may have some setbacks, but I will say this: I am so glad that we pulled him out of public school to home school him.  This change could have resulted in some not so pretty meltdowns at school.  This is a life lesson for him.  He will get into a new routine with his new doctor. 

And he will know that I too, want to cover my ears & shout "LA LA LA LA LA!!! when I don't want to hear bad news.


  1. I hope the new doctor will be just as cool, and helpful as Dr. L. Change is hard, but sometimes it makes us stronger in the process.

    1. We are thinking she will refer him to the Doctor who has been leading the children's portion of the social skills group, since he knows her better than anyone else in the office. I'm also wondering if this happening will give another perspective that we haven't seen or noticed before.