So I'm finally doing it. At the request of many friends, I am starting a blog. My daily posts (yes I post many times a day) on Facebook may seem like a blog, but apparently I have a need to reach out & journal some more. In this blog, you will hear my daily rants about the life of a 40(ish) Mommy (yes, I was a late bloomer in the 'starting a family' department). In this house we have The Husband, The Boy, The Girl, & The Little Boy. And me, The Mommy. The Mom. The Momma. The Meanest Person Ever. There are the 4 children that I married; they call me Step Mom; I prefer Step Sheila (I will answer to either one). Since they are all older & reside away from us, they will not be subjected to my rants daily musings. Unless I am in a Step Mom kind of mood; then nobody is safe. (just kidding ~ we'll save the torture for the one's I gave birth to).
Before I tell any stories, I have to say this: if you are a punctuation nazi, my posts may bother you. I enjoy exclamation points, periods, quotation marks, & any form of punctuation that allows me to express myself. I write how I speak; meaning that I often ramble. If there are two ways to reach a destination, and one is short & direct, while the other takes awhile & has a few twists & turns, you can be rest assured that I will probably take the 2nd of the two.
Tomorrow is my husbands 49th birthday. He is a difficult man to buy for; if he needs something, he goes & gets it. So when the kids asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he wouldn't come up with an answer. The Boy asked him if he'd like a chainsaw. The answer was no. The Girl asked him if he'd like a Barbie of some new shoes. The answer was no. The Little Boy asked him if he'd like a ninja turtle. Nope. He wanted this new drill set that had been marked down. Cool, the kids & I can get him a few gift cards, then he can pick it up at his convenience (& I won't have to worry about getting the wrong item). I thought this would be a win-win for everyone involved. Nope. The Husband decided that all 5 of us needed to load up in the minivan & purchase the drill set together. I can think of many things I'd like to do for a family field trip, but a trip to Lowe's was not on my list. But this wasn't about what I wanted, this was a gift for the provider of our family, so we should do it his way.
If anyone knows my husband, they know that it is not wise to think that you will be going on a quick shopping trip with him. A simple trip to pick up a few groceries can turn into an hour long ordeal of reading labels, comparing prices, & asking me, "do you have a coupon for this?". While he was looking at the 1,846,213 drill sets that the store had on their shelf, NONE were the exact item he swore he had seen in the paper earlier in the week. the children were getting antsy.
I decided to take the kids on a walk around the store, because trips in public usually don't end well, unless a bribe is involved. The Little Boy was in heaven when we walked into the lumber aisle & he saw not one, but TWO forklifts. It took everything in my power to keep him from trying to climb into the driver seat & start his first day on the job. The Girl found the paint swatches. She was picking out colors for her apartment that she will have when she goes to college. Everyone was chatting away rather loudly, but they were behaving, so we just kept walking around (I knew The Husband would find us when he was ready; how can you miss our loudness?), until they saw it. The giggling started. The farting noises started. Followed by MORE laughter. They discovered the display of toilets. While I was telling them NOT sit sit on the toilets, it was too late, they beat me to the punch. Before I could scold them, I found myself reaching for my phone so I could capture the moment for all of my cyber friends to see when they logged on toFacebook. A better Mom would have scolded her kids. A better Mom would have paid attention beforehand, when the giggling started. A better Mom would not have taken a picture of her children sitting on said toilets.
I am NOT a better Mom.....